What happens when we give up “good on paper” to go for great?
People pleasing. It crushes happiness and steals dreams. Some women live most of their lives checking boxes and doing the “good on paper” routine. The results can be failed relationships, career turmoil, and unfulfilled potential. But, what happens when we give up “good on paper” to go for great?
Who’s the Boss?
I did everything that was expected of me as a young woman raised in the “women can have it all” 1980s. I admired the powerful women I saw on sitcoms like “Who’s the Boss” with their big shoulder pads and sky high hairdos.
Lacking a powerful female role model in my life, I clung to those TV role models and mimicked them in my real life. My favorite was Angela Bower from Who’s the Boss.
- I graduated college – check!
- Landed a high powered job – check!
- (I worked at Kennedy Space Center managing marketing. I worked with astronauts & celebrities, put in 60+ hours per week, and only made $26,000 a year.)
- Earned a master’s degree at night while working at KSC to move up the corporate ladder- check!
- Married Mr. Right (Now) before I turned 30 to avoid social stigma of being unmarried- check! (I had nothing in common with him.)
- Eventually I quit Kennedy Space Center to chase the money in a job I hated in pharma sales because my former husband told me to. – check!
Behind closed doors, the reality was that living a “good on paper” life gave me an unfulfilled career, a divorce, and tons of stress.
I felt like a raccoon with my arm caught in a trap. Have you ever felt that way?
Rock bottom came in 2013 when I was diagnosed with a tumor caused by endometriosis. The emergency hysterectomy was three months before my wedding to my second husband. We planned to elope to Paris and I was devastated.
I had four organs removed in three surgeries in two years from endometriosis.
One day, while recovering from surgery after surgery, I decided to give up “good on paper” and started making bold decisions in my life.
- Started my own business helping other women achieve their full potential
- Got married in Paris
- Wrote multiple books
- Recently moved across the country from Florida to Colorado at 46 years old
What I’ve learned from speaking to and coaching thousands of women is that not only are women today still people pleasing and living “good on paper” lives, but now more than ever we suffer from unrealistic expectations due to social media forcing almost constant bombardment of what the “perfect” life is supposed to be like.
So, right now, let’s have a conversation about how to banish “being good on paper” and people pleasing forever so we can have lives of greatness and step into our full potential.
I want you to be empowered to live a bold and brilliant life on your own terms unaffected by media influences, family expectations, or spouses that don’t see your full potential.
Are you ready?
Four people pleasing traps:
- Messages – telling people what they want to hear
- Decisions – doing what others want us to do even if it’s not what is best for us
- Events – finding ourselves in the wrong places
- Relationships – being with the wrong people
When we find ourselves caught in a people pleasing trap, they key to unlocking it is found in this simple question:
Is this moment mine?
- Are these words from my heart?
- Is this what I really want to do?
- Is this where I want to be?
- Is this relationship good for me?
Tired of checking boxes and living the “good on paper” life? Chart a new path!
In conclusion I want to leave you with this thought and action. People pleasing is like crossing the street to a new life.
Stop. Look. and Listen.
- Stop people pleasing and trying to live up to unrealistic expectations.
- Look inward to find your full potential.
- Listen to your gut and those that champion your best life.
Give up being “good on paper” and go for great!
BIO for Jen DeVore Richter
Before becoming an entrepreneur, Jen DeVore Richter enjoyed an achievement filled career as a marketing executive working for NASA at Kennedy Space Center, a Fortune 500 Pharma Company, and ABC TV.
But, after a life changing health battle she decided to reinvent her life and began a personal and professional mission to inspire and empower women to reach their full potential.
The results of this approach include reduced entrepreneurial burnout, financial magnetism, and being seen as an industry leader – key concepts which can lead to greater income, influence, and impact.
Jen is a multi-published author, professional keynote speaker, Business Breakthrough Specialist, and the Editor in Chief of the Boss Women Rock™ magazine and host of the podcast on iTunes.
She is a media contributor frequently appearing on TV, radio, and podcast interviews across the globe.
She is well-known for leading a movement for Rising Influencers and “Boss Women Rock” is fast becoming the mantra for women in business.
Jen’s fourth book Boss Women Rock: How to Go From Best Kept Secret to Sought After Expert is now available on Amazon.